Hi Everyone-
Thanks so much for visiting my site, and for all your support. Wow, I have so much to go over in this journal entry, Nationals, not going to Four Continents, and what's to come for me.
I'll begin with Nationals. Going into the competition, I was so psyched up and ready to challenge for first place, and I am so pleased that I was able to make my dreams come true. The whole week in Atlanta felt like a dream that I was desperate not to wake up from. I fell only once all week, on a quad toe in the first practice, other than that I was rock solid. I was ecstatic that I completed a quad/triple combination in every practice of the week, and the fact that everything felt so calm and perfect. I skated eighth in the short program, a good omen as I skated eighth in 2003 as well, and my short program was a major highlight. There are definitely things I need to brush up on, my spins and footwork for instance, but I felt like I was flying out there. The audience was so wonderful, and after the whole group had finished, I was in first place. It was interesting to see how quickly ABC and other media needed me for interviews and close ups, after a week of no attention up until then. I will say it was fun though, and I was very proud I could win the short program. Before the press conference we had the draw, and I drew to skate last, to me an unenviable position, but I believed in my talent and wasn't going to let anything sway me.
The long program was so emotional. Leading after the short program, skating last, and having the pressure of American figure skating on my shoulders. I could have buckled under the pressure, like in 2000 when I was leading junior men and crumbled in the free skate, or even like 2003 when I was in the midst of an all out breakdown, but I'm older and wiser now, and was going to fight my way through it. Before I went to skate, after they had announced me and once the audience had quieted, I took a moment just for me and went into my own little world. Once the music started I felt like I didn't have to fight; there was this immense sense of calm to me that I'd never experienced before. Instead of hoping I would nail it, I knew I would, which made all the difference in the world. Four and a half minutes, eight triples, a standing ovation, and some very high scores later, I was National Champion. The amount of pride running through me was amazing; I had never been so proud of anything in my life, and who knows if I'll ever feel the same way again (I hope I will :)). For me, the victory wasn't completely about my skating and placing first, it was the sheer fact that I could come from the lowest depths of my career, the constant negativity and stigma surrounding me from last season, and show everyone that I'm a fighter and a good one at that. When I was on the medal stand, I was overcome with the fact that I'd set a goal last spring to be National Champion at all costs, and that I'd finally achieved it. All I could think was, "here I am world, the real me, watch out."
The next day was the exhibition, and I've long dreamed of being in the exhibition at Nationals; I see it as a sign that you've made it. I skated to "Imagine" by John Lennon and was very taken away into a magic world again. I made the program up as I went along, and I finally felt free from negativity and pain, so I skated from my heart and did what was comfortable. I think I showed a lot of myself in the exhibition, I even smiled a little!
Besides skating, Nationals was a great week. I got to see so many friends that I've missed for a long time. I hadn't seen Sasha since I left Connecticut, Tanith since September, or even old friends from University of Delaware whom I haven't seen in a long time. It was a great week of comfort and catching up, and I think that is part of the reason my mindset was so strong. I was surrounded by people who love me for me, and nothing can make you stronger than the feeling of being loved.
Naturally, a lot of opportunities for personal growth and good press have come my way since Nationals. I was rostered for the US World team, and at first the Four Continents team. My coach and I decided Four Continents was too soon after Nationals and that I should focus mainly on Worlds. I did an exhibition the weekend after Nationals in Elmira, NY with many other top skaters and had a blast. I have done many interviews with newspapers and television, autograph signings, and just all out good times. I will be traveling to New York City soon for a professional photo shoot that I'm very excited for, and I will be making a few trips to Boston before Worlds to visit with some of my best friends. I also have an exhibition coming up in Simsbury on March 13 as a pre Worlds warm up. Sasha, Alexei, Andrei, Galit and Sergei, and Svetlana and Vitaly will also be in it, so it will be a cool reunion of my summer in Connecticut. Other than all of that, it's business as usual for me. I am training hard for Worlds, and I'm pushing myself harder every day and know I can be strong and confident in Germany.
That was quite a long journal entry, but I hope you enjoyed hearing my thoughts on Nationals and other things. Thank you for all of your support and love, and I will update you guys soon.
All my love,
-J We
