Hi Everyone-
Thank you so much for visiting my site and for checking up on me. I have gotten so many concerned e-mails and touching notes since my last entry, and I wanted to say thank you. I don't have a lot of time to individually thank everyone, but I want you all to know that it is appreciated and very loved.
I guess I should start with Skate Canada. First of all, I didn't even know where Saint John's, NF was until the event, and because of what happened I don't know how soon it will be that I return. I skated well in the practices, and I was finally starting to feel like myself again. The short program went reasonably well, and I was in second place. I was upset to have missed the triple axel and been very slow and somewhat uninspired, but the program hadn't actually been "run-through capable" until a week before I left for the event. I have talked so much about changing my programs and reworking the elements and it seems cheap to keep complaining, so I won't. I thought my short program should have been maybe fourth or fifth because I didn't skate one hundred percent, but the judges really responded and liked it. The free program was a disaster. My warm-up was awesome. Nothing was out of place. The first jump in the free was a triple toe; I sprained my ankle somehow on the landing, and struggled to keep it together for the rest of the program. I left things out and stopped in the middle of the program because the pain was so excruciating, but I knew I had to keep going. Stopping would be admitting defeat, once again, and I wasn't doing it again. The result wasn't important to me, I just wanted the doctors in Canada to check my foot and tell me everything would be okay. The whole performance is a blur, the only clear memory is that I kept repeating some choice four letter words the entire way through. Whatever, water under the bridge right? Anyway, I went to the medical room and they put a half cast around my left ankle, and I was on crutches for the evening. The next day the cast was removed and I limped around and tried to make some sense of what was going on. I went to the banquet and had a good time but I really wanted to get home and get better, fast. I got a lot criticism at Skate Canada, about my costumes, my hair, my stunt, my programs, basically everything that was visible to the eye got picked apart. I came to some heavy realizations that I hadn't thought about in a while and I'd lost sight of. Why am I skating? Why do I keep putting myself through this? What can I do? I decided to get back to that happy place where I can do no wrong and I don't need other peoples approval. I came home, went to the doctor, got cleared to resume training because the injury turned out to be just a minor sprain, and got back to work. I wish to forget Skate Canada.
My next event was Cup of Russia in Saint Petersburg, but I had some things to do before then. I got some very long awaited Johnny time and just did things that made me happy. I visited with friends, I went shopping, and of course I trained. I got the opportunity to go on The Today Show again. I took my friends Paris and Tara with me and they took care of me for the weekend. I went through a bit of an emotional amusement park the week before, so I needed some help. The Today Show went really well. I skated in the freezing cold early morning hours which isn't for me, but Katie Couric interviewed me and she remembered me from my last time on the show and she was very supportive. She told me she watched Nationals last year and Skate Canada this season and she was proud that I pushed through. She's a fan. :) Anyway, I skated well and was very happy that I pulled it together and gave a good show to the people who actually get up that early. I also got to meet some fans who trekked in from all over the place, and it was really cool to spend some time getting to know the people I've never met. Then of course my friends and I went shopping and had a beautiful day. I scored some good loot. Three days later I left for Mother Russia.
We arrived at Pulkovo on a Tuesday night and snuggled into our beds after a really long journey. Excuse me, "we" would be my mother, Priscilla, and my hair. On Wednesday the team members who were already in Russia went to Yubileniy Sports Palace for training. There was no official practice set up at the Ice Palace so we took the metro with a guide and had a nice time skating in such a historical hot bed of Russian skating. I got a chance to see some of the young kids skating on a separate surface and they were incredible; there was a two foot tall baby girl "Biellman-ing" better than Slutskaia. The kids were really inspirational and some of them knew who I was which was cool! Then I found out that I would be the guide to get the entire team back to the hotel from Yubileniy. My Russian comprehension is pretty good, but taking an entire team on a Metro, in a city I've never been to was a little daunting. Luckily I got everyone home in one piece, didn't make any mistakes, and I was very proud. It was my crowning achievement for Cup of Russia. That night I had to do a caviar tasting with Peter Carruthers for a piece for ESPN. We went to a really elite restaurant close to all the major St. Petersburg tourist attractions and the caviar was delicious. The short program was much better than in Canada. I felt very inspired because Tatiana Anatolievna was there and I wanted to give her a good show. It wasn't without mistakes, but a huge improvement. The audience was AMAZING! I thought they wouldn't know who I am because I was in Plushenko's city and I would get golf clapping. It was amazing. I stepped on the ice first for the warm-up and they started screaming before they even said my name, then a huge roar and it got bigger and bigger until I left the kiss and cry after both my programs. They were awesome. The free program was off, but it had it's moments of the old me. I performed well enough to make third place, which in my mind is losing the gold, but I was so proud to make such a huge comeback after the disaster in Canada. For the exhibition I skated "Yunona y Avoys," and the audience was incredible once again. I skated really well and I had fun, which I haven't done for a while. Somewhere through all of this, I've been forgetting to have fun, and that has been a huge loss for me. All in all, Russia was a great trip and I finally feel like I'm on the up slope again. It was pretty shady there for a while.
Right now I'm back in action. I'm training for Nationals and I really want to make myself proud there. I will get new skates next week and hopefully a whole new outlook. It has been a rough few months, but I'm slowly coming back to the real world, and although there are set backs and major disappointments, the only constant in life is change. There are some things you go through that make you stronger, and others that make you weak, and after this autumn I'd better be made of steel by now.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!
-Johnny
