journal

Wednesday, January 25, 2006
 
Hi Everyone-

Thank you for coming to my website; I hope you like the new design. Since my last entry a lot of things have happened in my life and career, some good and some bad. I competed at my sixth National Championship at the senior level, won the skating version of "American Idol," had very happy holidays and as always, dealt with criticism every step of the way.

I performed in a show on Wollman rink at the beginning of December. It was a holiday party for Barclay International and I had a great time. I went to New York with my mother and aunt to have some fun shopping and relaxing in the city. It was my aunt Diane's first trip to NYC, so I wanted to make it nice for her and show her around all the places I usually haunt. The show was a private affair so I didn't advertise that I would be there, and it was actually nice to skate for people who didn't know that much about skating. They cheered me on in the freezing cold and it was very lovely. My second number was "Unchained Melody" and just as I began to skate, it started to snow. It was so beautiful. I could glimpse the city lights twinkling from outside Central Park, catching snowflakes on my eyelashes as I spun and I just felt so good, and it was so gorgeous. I skated well and headed home for Delaware.

The following weekend I went to Boston University to perform in the figure skating version of "American Idol." I'd never been judged by people who weren't actual judges, but I think the fans chose the right winner! :) In my first number I took a tumble on my triple lutz. My skates were only two days old, so just competing was a triumph for me. I later learned that when I fell, the broadcast went blank, so nobody saw me go down and I won the first round. I think the KGB maybe helped me out a bit! I skated against Michael Weiss in the final round for the men and I won by a big percentage. I pulled out an oldy but goody for my music, "What A Wonderful World." I had a lot of fun that weekend, and I understood that my fans don't care about how many times I make mistakes, they still support me.

The holidays were a hectic yet relaxing time for me. I spent most of the time with my friends and family. For the first time in a long time, I didn't skate on Christmas since it was a Sunday, but otherwise I was in the rink training my butt off and trying to prepare for Nationals. Over the holidays I did an interview with Kathleen Bangs that I got called out about. I said a lot of things that I felt, and I got punished for it. It's funny to me that in our modern world, when free speech and free thinking is thought to be our savior, we can still be criticized for not thinking like everyone else. We might as well be communist if that's really the case. I have been torn down so many times about things that I've said or will say and I really don't think it's fair that just because I'm in a bit of the public eye that I have to censor myself and keep my opinions to myself, when everyone else is creating their own opinions and voicing them. It seems that I'm often confronted with this double standard. Speaking of which, lets move on to Nationals.

Saint Louis was an interesting trip. I was very well trained and ready to compete and win. I arrived in Saint Louis without really knowing where Saint Louis was and moved into my hotel room. I soon found that Saint Louis was like a ghost town. There didn't seem to be any people, anything open, it was very strange. My practices went very well and I was feeling like a National Champion again. I did notice that some of the volunteers at Nationals this year were very rude. I stepped through a doorway at a practice rink and I was immediately accosted and told I didn't have proper accreditation to access this area. All I wanted to know was what time it was. There were other cases, like when my event was ready to go on and there were security guards in the skaters hallway yelling into their walky talky's, screaming at each other and we were supposed to focus and compete? I didn't feel Nationals was a warm comfy environment by any means. The day before my short program I had a press conference. I had fun, and I always have fun with the media. I still think it's crazy that I get a press conference, and I like to perform for the media just as I would for an audience. I don't put on a happy face, or an act and I can just chill with the press and be myself. The next morning the papers came out and all of a sudden I was causing a stir because I told Phil Hersh he looked thin and I was wearing a chinchilla scarf that someone thought was a boa. First of all, boas are so out. Secondly, I would never wear a boa to a press conference. Nonetheless, I had a job to do. I skated great in my short program and in my mind, it's the best I've ever skated. I felt comfortable, cool and collected. I received a very high, inflated score and took first place. I had a comfortable lead over Michael Weiss and Evan Lysacek going into the free program. I made some bad analogies in the press conference following the short program, and I got slammed for it. Just to set the record straight, I do not condone narcotics and other illegal substances, I am simply a young person who knows the lingo and I joke about them. Well, one little analogy and I'm thrown into a shit storm of people hating on me. The day between the short and long programs was filled with me getting lectured and defending the fact that I can say what I please. I realize that sometimes my mouth can get away from me and I should reel it in, but come on! Any statement I make is all in good fun, nothing serious. My free program was solid. I made the mistake of doing an extra combination as I was trying to cover up a step out on my second triple axel. I lost credit for two jump elements that I had planned, and I wound up third in the free program. My lead from the short was still strong enough to keep me in first, and thus I won my third straight National title. I also earned a spot on my first Olympic team and am so excited to head to Italy and show the world what I've got. I performed a new exhibition routine at Nationals as well. It is to Frank Sinatra's classic, 'My Way.' I think it's a very fitting song for me, and I love what Carolanne Leone and I created. So I think that's all the buzz from Nationals this year. Oh, and big congratulations to Sasha for winning her first Nationals!!

When I arrived home I was immediately thrown into a media frenzy. I held a press conference at my rink, I've done numerous phone interviews, my parents and friends are trying to figure out how to get to Italy, so I left! :) I took a mini break to visit friends and get away from all the craziness. I've also decided to go back to my old long program for the Olympic Games. My free program from this year was good, but a stretch for me to actually bring it to life. I landed all my jumps and did all my spins at Nationals, but I still had low component scores, and no real excitement from the audience. I was even bored and wondering how much longer I had to watch it when I saw the tape. I needed to go back to my artistic roots and just be myself. It's good that I learned my lesson, but now I wish maybe I'd done it a bit sooner and perhaps my season would have been better. Oh well, I think next year things will be different and I won't fight anyone on music choices or anything, because sometimes I suppose I don't completely understand my skating and may not see clearly. Only time will tell.

I am honestly so excited to go to Torino. I really feel a good team spirit from the US team and I'm ready to meet all the other athletes. I am worried about the Olympic Village situation because there is always an epidemic of flu or ebola or something horrible and I don't want to get sick and have it hamper my first Olympics. I am back in the rink, training, training, training. I haven't been the easiest person to deal with lately, but I'm trying to focus all my energies on my goals and desires. I think the Olympics will be a great stepping stone for me, and I hope I can bring all the goods when it counts. I want to make America proud, even if they have to be proud of someone "so controversial." :)

In other news, I have begun to work with a wonderful designer, Geoffrey B. Small. I will be a spokesperson for his edgy fashion line, and I am really excited to be involved. I hope his design team and I will have a lot of fun together, and I know I'll enjoy a little taste of the fashion world.

All in all, life is good. I'm happy. I am skating well. I'm going to the Olympics. (YAY!) I am having so much fun right now, even with setbacks, and if nothing else, the trying past few months have made me stronger and reaffirmed that I have to work hard and listen to my own soul. My final statement is, live life the way you want, no matter what criticism might come your way, and you'll be able to feel good about yourself and everything you do. Be good everyone!

-Johnny