Title: "NON, JE NE REGRETTE RIEN"
Hello everyone. Thank you for reading my new journal entry. I hope you're all staying warm this winter. The title of this entry is inspired by the song by Edith Piaf. In english it means "No, I don't regret anything." The song makes me think of recent events and competitions I've been involved in, and how I feel about them and my life. A lot has happened since my last entry. A year ago I was in Torino for the Olympic Games, I just competed at the National Championships and have been reflecting on everything.
It seems wild to think back to the Olympics and how crazy everything was. I can't believe I was actually there and it has been a year since then. I remember everything like it was yesterday. I have changed a lot as a person since then, and mentally I think I am much stronger and more mature than a year ago. The Olympics are a turning point in many athletes' lives and for me it is no different. The Games helped me grow and see life and my skating as something special and unique. It was one of the greatest disappointments of my career and life, but it made me stronger. I am happy I can look back on it with this attitude. I suppose the greatest rebounds in life are made from when you're at your worst, and I think I'm on a good path.
The US Nationals were recently held in Spokane, Washington. I lost my title for the first time in three years to Evan Lysacek, who was incredible. I was happy to lose when I didn't skate my best, and Lysacek and Ryan Bradley skated their best. I didn't deserve to be first or second that night, I am at peace with third. Third place keeps me hungry, and makes me rethink some of my choices in training and life to this point. In the short program I thought I was the best for sure. I was a bit upset when I didn't win the short program, but I lost on a step sequence because Lysacek's were more difficult and was scored better. I skated the best I had all season and was upset when even my best wasn't good enough to win. I knew at that moment I wouldn't win unless I skated completely perfect and Evan made a mistake. A little heart was lost. I still buckled down and was preparing for the free program the best I could. I drew to skate right after Evan Lysacek. Leading into the championships, the press and the fans had been unwavering in their joy to see such a rivalry. To skate after my main rival, go for my fourth title and try a new element was difficult enough, but when Evan blew the roof off the building I just got lost in the world. I tried my best and delivered the best free program of the season, but I was fair to poor at best. I made mistakes on several elements and I knew after the first triple axel that I was done. To give you an idea, the audience was so loud after Evan skated, I couldn't even hear my coach who I was standing directly in front of. You can't prepare for the kind of pressure, no matter what anyone says. I saw the video and heard the commentators say that I had watched Evan skate. I did not. I was near the ice of course because I skated after him, but the only element I saw from him was the final double axel. It's so funny how people are building up this rivalry. Maybe it's good for skating? I cried at the end of my number because I wanted it so badly. I cried for everything I've gone through. I cried for everything I lost. I just cried. I performed in the exhibition the next day and skated to "Imagine." It's an old program but I felt it worked well for this championship. I had fun skating, and I got a standing ovation before my music was even over. It felt good to leave Spokane on that note. I am proud of my performances in Spokane. Yes I lost, yes I made mistakes and yes I could have done better, but I got myself ready for this event, I skated the best I could at that moment, and I didn't give up. I am proud of my bronze, even though it's not what I wanted.
After the championship, I went home to Delaware. On my first weekend back I went to New York City to get away from everyone and everything and just be alone. I also had the honor of walking in the Heatherette fashion show for Fall and Winter 2007. I opened the show. I was the first to walk and I wore a crazy white outfit with ribbons and glow sticks all over. I had a lot of fun in New York and I feel refreshed and ready to get back into work. I got to meet JC Chasez and Kimora Lee Simmons this time which was pretty cool. I am supposed to be doing a show in Russia next week, but I am still unclear about going or not. I didn't compete in the Four Continents Championships so my federation thought I shouldn't go to Moscow to perform in a show. I am still unclear about everything, but I know everyone is trying to reach common ground, Russia, USA, myself and all my peeps. In related news, Four Continents. I chose not to go as soon as the event ended in Spokane, it was mainly my coaches decision. I need new skates and competing one week after Nationals, in altitude, is hard and I prefer to be ready for Worlds and be healthy. I have done Four Continents once in my career and I didn't have Worlds after, so I know I made the right decision. In the last four years I haven't even considered doing the event because the timing is usually so rough, just after US Nationals. I have no regrets about that event.
Just like a year ago at the Olympics, press is rough. Leading into the nationals a man apparently ripped me a new one on Nancy Kerrigan's TV show. It apparently caused a big stir in the skating community, so thank you to everyone who supported me and was on my side through all that. I have yet to see the show, but I doubt I'll watch it. Just this week, a reporter insinuated that I would prefer to walk in a fashion show than to compete at the Four Continents. If they'd done their research they would see I've never really done Four Continents. In general people want to make a huge deal about the Lysacek/Weir rivalry. There is a competitive nature to us, but we don't hate each other. We get along. I congratulated him after his victory, and I know he would congratulate me. That's our rivalry! Tah-dah! I think bringing attention to the sport is a good thing and I hope I can help. I hope Evan and I can help bring in viewers, and I hope people can appreciate what all of us do and go through. The media is a double edged sword.
Looking forward to the World Championships in Tokyo, I'm excited. I love Japan and performing there, and I hope to show better performances than Nationals. I hope to win. I am already training and preparing and getting ready for my trip. I think as long as I keep my head on straight, I will do great. I know I can compete with these other boys, there's no question. I just have to put in the work for it. I will be me, and I will be back, and I will be present in Tokyo. I want it more now than ever, not to prove something to someone, but to prove to myself that I can do it.
Thank you to everyone who came to Nationals and supported me. I appreciate it so much. Winter is lovely, so enjoy it before global warming gets rid of it entirely!
Love,
-Johnny
P.S. My son Vanya turns 2 on March 17! :)
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