journal

Friday, February 15, 2008

Title: Single Toe Loop
 

Hello everyone. As always, thank you for visiting my website and for reading my new journal entry. I think I'll be writing Journal Entries until I'm eighty years old. A lot has happened since my last entry. I competed in the Grand Prix Final, had a merry Christmas and competed at the US National Championships. It's been quite an interesting time in my life!

In the beginning of December I competed at the Grand Prix Final in Torino, Italy. It was the first time I actually made it through the whole competition in my career. I can say that I was exhausted before I even went to Italy. November was a very long month for me with the two competitions in Russia and China and I was ready for the holidays, not competing! I knew I needed to go though, and try my hardest and fight for a good result. The time before the final was very difficult. I lost a lot of weight between in China and Russia and I felt weak and sickly and then a problem with my foot flared up. It is the same injury I had at Worlds in Moscow, and in fact I always have it, but it comes and goes as far as pain is concerned. I had some good treatments on it in New York before I left. When Galina Yakovlevna and I actually got to the airport to leave, our flight was canceled and we had to reschedule for a later time which is such a pain!

After arriving in Italy my feelings about the competition didn't change much. I had very bad practices, I was weak and all I wanted to do was sleep. All of a sudden I was falling on a triple axel in the short program and placing fourth behind skaters I'd beaten already this season. I wasn't happy at all. Then came the long program where I again skated poorly and had an overall ranking of fourth. Mentally I wasn't there, but now that I look back on the event, I may not have skated well, but it was still one hundred times better than anything I did last season. I was happy to find a positive from the event and of course I was ready to get home and enjoy the holidays.

I spent Christmas with my family in Delaware and New Years Eve in New Jersey with Sasha and Roman Zaretsky and Elene Gedevanishvilli. I was very relaxed throughout the holidays and really enjoyed them. I especially enjoyed being home for Christmas because I got the one thing I wanted more than anything on Christmas morning, a Swiffer WetJet! Of course I was happy to see my family and my dogs and Melissa and Denis! New Years Eve was very relaxed. I went out to a Heatherette party last year but this year I wanted to cook dinner for my friends and relax. I spent the evening in sweatpants and toasted the New Year with the television, my friends, and their friends who tuned in by Skype! I couldn't go crazy because I had to skate the next morning and I needed to be fresh. I was happy the holidays went smoothly.

Several weeks after New Year I traveled to US Nationals in Saint Paul. Before leaving I was very well prepared. I felt strong and confident that I could fight for my title again. Three days before my departure, New Jersey became very cold. I don't know what happened, but one morning I woke up with back spasms rather like the ones I experienced at Worlds in Calgary. Needless to say, I was not amused. I couldn't turn my head, I couldn't skate, and I definitely didn't know how I would compete. I had intense therapy sessions instead of practices before I left. I got on the plane wrapped in scarves and coats without being able to pick up my own luggage. Viktor and Galina accompanied me on the trip and made sure I didn't let on that I was injured. We arrived and I stepped off the plane and onto the ice it seems. I arrived, did a practice two hours after arriving, had two uneventful practices the next day then it was the short program. Secretly, I was having therapy sessions the whole time I was in Saint Paul even an hour before both programs! I didn't want to tell anyone about my problems because I didn't want them to affect me and I didn't want anyone to judge me. God forbid Johnny Weir shows up to something and says he's hurt.

Cut to me standing on a giant ice oval in yet another sparkly catsuit waiting for soft, tinkling, piano music to play. My short program was very good. I was happy with the way I skated especially considering what the past week had been like for me mentally. I made a small mistake on my combination sit spin, but otherwise I felt great. My score was very high, but I was only the second of eighteen skaters to take the ice so I had to wait. I called Paris to discuss my skating, he told me how the competition was going via IceNetwork, then I went and sat in a hospitality room with Galina and Viktor to watch the rest of the event. At the end of the night I was in first, and of course I was pleased. I went back to the hotel had a salad for a job well done, had some therapy and focused for the long program.

I drew to skate last in the free program which is a starting position I have come to understand and be more comfortable with as the years have gone by. I also drew to skate just after Evan Lysacek which was also a familiar position for me. The morning practice before the free was just so-so but I felt confident anyway. I was prepared and I felt that I was stronger than any injury aside from having no arms or legs. I took the ice an hour after my warm-up. Galina and Viktor had excellent words of comfort and confidence. I looked at the ice to try and mentally speak to it, and say, "you're mine." The energy in the building was high after Evan skated a strong program.

The audience was ready. I was announced, I took a few moments to breath, have a tissue, shake out the last nerves and collect myself. Then I started. The program had its flaws, a two footed quad toe loop, a strange triple flip and a couple missing pieces to combinations, but I did it. The audience was on it's feet and screaming and encouraging me through the final step sequence which I started crying about half way through. I felt so happy and overwhelmed at the end. No it wasn't as good as Zhivago or Otonal, but I showed strong elements, pure skating in my opinion, and I knew that I made good decisions this season and Galina, Viktor and Nina and everyone in my new home had helped me rediscover my strength. I could have cared less what place I got. On that day, I felt like a champion. I worked so hard and overcame a lot to deliver my performances and I felt like I did the best I could at that time. I was so happy. When I came off the ice Viktor and Galina were calm and happy. I told my mom before this season even started that I'm much more worried if I make Galina happy than if I make the judges happy, so when Galina smiled and said "Molodets" I knew I did a good job.

The exhibition was about three hours after my long program so I stayed at the rink and rested on a couch. It had been a long day and I was too tired to go all the way back (five minutes) to the hotel! I debuted my new exhibition number to Josh Groban's "Ave Maria." I skated well and got my third standing ovation of the week. It is such a good feeling when the audience is with you through every movement on the ice. Saint Paul definitely treated me well. After the exhibition, I went back to the hotel, took my shower, had therapy, had one scoop of perfect ice cream, and went to bed. The next day I was going home!

I am in New Jersey now, training for Worlds in several weeks. My back is much better but I'm still cautious with it. I am also working on a new show program that Nina Petrenko is choreographing. It is to the music "Feeling Good" by Nina Simone. I've never done a number that isn't a ballad or that has a jazzy feel to it, so I think it will be a nice change of pace. It is a totally different way of holding my body and moving than in Ave Maria.

I'm looking forward to the World Championships. I am Norwegian, and therefore Scandinavian, and I'm so happy to compete in Scandinavia and Sweden in particular as I've never been there. Before Worlds I will train in Moscow to get acclimated to a European time zone. I'm really looking forward to that adventure and seeing what lies in front of me. I am happy with how the season has gone thus far, and I'm looking forward to a big finish!

I know this entry has been pretty "warm fuzzies" for me, but here are bullet points I want to make and explain before the end.

+SECOND PLACE+
When the scores at Nationals were announced I didn't know if I'd won, or lost. The TV monitor said Evan and I had the same score, but I have trouble trusting technology so I didn't know what it meant. Then it popped up that I was second. I never thought there would be a tie in this system, but I guess I should expect the unexpected. I accepted that I was second. I'm not going to pretend to be able to outsmart a computer, so I'm fine in knowing I won a silver medal, not a gold. In this system, the computer knows best. I won't say it isn't crazy though.

+SINGLE TOELOOP+
I was told that I lost by a single toe loop which is extremely comforting five minutes after the fact. It is frustrating.

+BACKLASH+
I want to thank everyone who questioned the result. I heard through the grapevine and from USA Today that there were human calculators trying to figure how the results were possible and criticizing the credibility of the computer. I am fine with the result, and I think everyone should be. If not a champion this time, work hard and be a sure champion next time.

+"THE RIVALRY"+
Give it a rest. Yes we're competing against each other. No we don't want to lose to the other person. Yes we deal with it. Yes we've made comments about one another. No we're not best friends forever. It's a sport. We both work hard, we both compete as best we can, we're both American, ta da!

+THANK YOU+
Thank you to everyone who supported me in Saint Paul, in front of their TVs, on their computers and across the oceans. Fans came from Hungary, Russia, Japan, Korea and of course all over the United States to Nationals this year. A big thank you to my dad who held Vanya in his arms to watch me skate!

I think that's it. I tried not to say anything rash or stupid, but if I did and if I offended you, forgive me. I'm supposed to be "the flamboyant diva" one after all.

Peace and love everyone,
Johnny